failing and faith

So there is this blog I like to read. It is called "In the Name of Love", and yesterday, the author brought forth this challenge: In 100 words or less, describe one thing you would make, create, produce, curate, or invest if you knew there was no way you’d mess up. It may seem trivial, but there is a power in ownership and dreaming about possibilities.

Here's my answer:

If I knew I could do one thing without failing, it would be to begin an after school program/club in Athens, Georgia out of my own home that would feed, tutor and love on kids who needed it most. I would want kids to be able to come and find physical, emotional, and spiritual nourishment. The kids would learn all about who and whose they are, and they would have a safe place to land outside of their broken home lives and the stresses of school. There you have it, my dream.

Last night was our final Calvary Chapel Distinctives class at church. This eight-week class has been a study of what exactly sets Calvary Chapel churches apart from other churches- Baptist, Pentecostal, Methodist, Lutheran, etc. The last chapter of our book was entitled "Ventures of Faith." I will admit that I read about 90% of it in the car on the way to study, but our conversation about the study was nothing short of challenging. Our teacher Chris challenged us to think about how to live and walk by faith daily. It is so easy to think about the "glory days" by talking about things that God has done and ways that we have stepped out in faith in the past. But what can we say that God is doing right now? How is He moving in our hearts today? What kinds of steps of faith are we taking today?

Sure, I took a big step of faith in moving here to Chihuahua. It was probably the biggest step of faith I have ever taken. But are the "big ones" the only ones that count? What about the faith it takes to go against the status quo? To create challenging lessons for my students and show them how to walk out their faith? To take some cookies to my neighbor? To pray with boldness and confidence? Those steps of faith are important, too.

I have been so challenged by Kisses from Katie as I have read more about what her life entails and how her daily life was completely inundated with people who simply need someone to take time to care for them. The Lord has shown me just how selfish and prideful I can be. He has not set me free to be a spiritual big-head full of knowledge and theology, but rather to be His hands and feet to a world in need.

What does this have to do with anything, you ask? Well, it changes everything. When I am confident in who I am in Christ, it won't matter if I fail. I can take a step of faith and know that God will cover me in His grace and uphold me with His right hand. His word tells me He will, and He has done it before. So why worry now? I mean, I do have the creator of the universe on my side. That is something to get excited about.

So who knows if I will ever realize the dream I wrote about above. Does that really matter? All I know is that I want His dreams to be my dreams. And when I allow that to happen, I don't have to be afraid to fail. He'll catch me anyways.

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