The Journey to Here

Seven years ago this May, I finished my last day of teaching in the public school and got on a plane to go to Uganda. My maternal grandmother had just died right before I celebrated my 26th birthday, and I was also pretty desperately single. I went to Uganda with a very small group from my church because I just had this feeling that I could not shake that God was going to meet me there. Knowing that I was headed into my dream teaching job at Downtown Academy in the fall, I figured that He was going to tell me something more about my purpose in education.

During one of our last days in Uganda, we were facilitating some training for the pastors. That afternoon, I had the opportunity to sit with a small group of women and share with them. They called themselves “Divine...” Little did I know, they would be the ones teaching me. One after the other, they vulnerably shared about heartaches they had walked through and the difficulties they had in trusting God. I had just met them, but it felt like we had been friends for years because the walls had come down when they stepped into authenticity without a moment’s thought.

I sat there, afraid and insecure, thinking of how I could share my own heartache. But I was silent. There were parts of my story I knew that it was time to share, but I just wasn’t ready. So I listened. And the Lord birthed in my heart a desire to see women set free—starting with me.

Fast forward about a month, and by a miraculous turn of events, I found myself in Kenya with my sweet friend Elissa Clouse. She introduced me to a woman who had begun a ministry here in the States that also partnered with churches in Kenya to share with women about their true identity in Christ. We were able to host a day long retreat for women in ministry, and it was amazing to literally see their eyes light up and their joy restored as they learned about God’s true character and who they are in Him. When it was time for me to share my story in front of a large group of both men and women on the last day, I didn’t hold back. The Lord gave me the courage and the words to say and tenderly allowed me to share it all—my “real” testimony—abuse and heartache included. Words can’t describe how light and free I felt after taking that one small step of obedience in vulnerability.

When I taught at Downtown Academy, I was absolutely in love with my kids. But I was also captivated by their moms, longing to know them and have relationships with them. When I left two years later, kicking and screaming, I knew I had to still be a part of the organization. The Lord allowed me to learn about a ministry called Christian Women’s Job Corps through another miraculous turn of events and I knew that this was it—this was what I had been waiting to find.

My incredible former boss, pastor, and now friend, Carlos Sibley, listened to my the dream and vision I held within my heart and sent me to a week-long training in Texas, which allowed me to become a site coordinator for Christian Women’s Job Corps. This was in fall 2017, when Rory and I had been trying to get pregnant for a while and it wasn’t happening. I didn’t understand why God was allowing me to remain infertile and what He was doing. But He knew.

During the two years that followed, I conducted a needs assessment of the community and pursue many potential candidates who could serve on an advisory council and help me lead this ministry. I continued contact with my friends Downtown Ministries, figuring out how we could partner to offer holistic care to the families we serve with this women’s ministry.

The Lord gave me the name Restoration Women when I was reading in Isaiah 58 one morning. I came across these verses and they clearly spoke of exactly what I believe He desires for the Athens community—women, men, and families. Verses 11-12 say:

And the Lord will guide you continually

and satisfy your desire in scorched places

and make your bones strong;

and you shall be like a watered garden,

like a spring of water,

whose waters do not fail.

And your ancient ruins shall be rebuilt;

you shall raise up the foundations of many generations;

you shall be called the repairer of the breach,

the restorer of streets to dwell in.

The mission of Restoration Women CWJC Athens is to equip women of Athens, GA and the surrounding area with life and job skills to empower them to walk in freedom and bring restoration to their homes and community.

When I miraculously and unexpectedly got pregnant with little man in 2018, I wondered how in the world I was going to see my dream come true with Restoration Women when I was going to have a newborn. I was sad that it was going to be “delayed” once again. It seemed like it was never going to start. It had almost been two years since I had attended training! But of course, God knew what He was doing, as He always does.

Last spring, before the pandemic hit, we were able to begin our first semester of group classes. We had an incredible group of women, and I looked forward to every day we met and was energized and encouraged after each meeting. But all of that stopped short when the world shut down, and I didn’t know what the future would look like.

Sometimes you meet a person that comes into your life for a season and completely changes its trajectory. This is what happened when I met Christina Britt. She sought me out here on Instagram through a DM, saying that she had seen the Restoration Women page and wanted to know how she could partner with us through her volunteer organization, Serving Soul. So in the fall, we (little dude included) met at Nedza’s Waffles and shared our hearts with one another. We immediately clicked.

She organized an incredible group of college girls who provided childcare for our weekly meetings in the fall, and we continued to stay in touch. I’ll never forget the day when she texted me and said, “I need to tell you about a service learning project idea for Restoration Women.” She told me all about an incredible program through the Terry College of Business at UGA, and immediately the Holy Spirit told me that this was the chance to make RW a non-profit!

All along, this is the dream that I had in my heart, but I had absolutely no way to fulfill this on my own. I figured it would be years down the road when I was done having babies. But the Lord sent an army in the form of a group of six incredible UGA students who researched, worked, and prepared everything I would need to help us attain 501(c)(3) status. They lovingly named themselves “Operation Restoration,” and they were a literal gift from God.

I will never get over the incredible timing and faithfulness of the Lord in sending Christina and these amazing girls to me so that the dream He planted in my heart would be able to move forward.

It dawned on me that it was seven years ago that the Lord laid a dream on my heart to step into women’s ministry. Did you know that the number seven means divine completion and perfection in the Bible? Seven years ago, I had no idea what this dream and call on my life meant and what that would look like. I knew I wanted to see women set free, but I didn’t know that would mean that I was going to need to be made free in the process. You see, you can’t give what you don’t have. And while I had been walking with the Lord for a long time, I was still bound by so much.

Fear of what others would think about me if they “really” knew me plagued my heart and mind. What would think if they knew I had walked through sexual abuse? Would they think I was too messed up to lead? What if they knew about the awful intrusive thoughts that were my constant companion? The insecurities were so loud, and for a long time, I thought they counted me out from doing what God had called me to do.

When Rory walked into my life, he saw through the performance and the need to please everyone. He saw me for who I truly was—a woman who loved Jesus but was bound by so much and needed to learn how to actually walk in truth. So over the last few years, the Lord has used our marriage relationship, counseling, intensive group studies, time in His word, and healing prayer to show me just how good He is and just how imperfect, yet fully loved, I am. He is teaching me to boast in my weaknesses and not try to live like I have it all together. Through depression, infertility, financial uncertainties, foster parenting, and anxiety, I have learned that these weaknesses do not disqualify me to lead, but rather empower me to lead.

I am convinced that the only way we can lead others well is to know how to lead ourselves to the feet of Jesus. We can only give what we have. And through it all, I have learned that all I have is Jesus.

Being the executive director of Restoration Women is a dream come true, yes. But this is not “my” ministry. It is the Lord’s. Just as is my marriage, my mothering, and my relationships. It is all His. So today, I give thanks for all that He has done and all that is to come, and I eagerly expect to see Him do exceedingly and abundantly more than all that I could ever ask or imagine, not for me, but for His glory alone.